We put this blog together a few years ago to pass on to our children for when they are raising their own families. With so many families finding themselves at home a lot more now, we thought it might be helpful to share with others as well. Anyone who knows Ammaron and I, know we are far from perfect parents. Our family and friends could say plenty about the mistakes we have made and continue to make. However, that is always part of the process of learning.
Our family is made up of 8 unique characters learning, clashing and laughing everyday. Parenting is not straight forward. We’ve been working on it for almost 20 years with our six very patient children. We’ve searched books, blogs, videos, parenting courses, been coached and watched other parents trying to figure it all out. Although we are not perfect, we are a happy family!
We have not studied child psychology, but so far we have six incredible individual children, in spite of us! Ages 19, 18, 16, 13, 11 & 7, gives us 84 years of accumulative parenting experience! There are some things we have learnt are not good to do and some things which are. Three main things are most important for us.
- We want a relationship with each child on an individual level, where they are noticed, valued and loved for being themselves.
- Children are torn down everywhere they go, for that reason they must be awesome at home! It is essential to have a positive image of them individually.
- We want to empower them with the knowledge and skills they need to make their own wise choices.
In Clayton Christensen’s book, ‘How do you measure your life?’ he gives us this great advice about parenting. “The hot water that softens the carrot will harden the egg.’ There is no one right way of parenting, because each child is unique they must be parented uniquely… As a parent, you will try many things with your child that simply won’t work. When this happens, it can be very easy to view it as a failure. Don’t! If anything, it’s the opposite… getting it wrong doesn’t mean you have failed. Instead, you have just learned what does not work. You now know to try something else… Nothing can promise you perfect results. What I can promise you is that you won’t get it right if you don’t commit to keep trying.”
Finally, we want to add that as a members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints, we believe that the children we have been blessed with are not only cared for and watched over by us, but also by Heavenly Parents. There have been numerous times as parents when ideas and thoughts that are not our own have helped us know how to act in order to look after our children. We rely on the Holy Ghost in this important work of parenting.